The Science of Scare

I am confidant I have personally seen more horror movies then anybody who stumbles across the brilliance that is my blog. It is quite literally my forte. When I hear of people's nightmares it reminds me of my dreams. I love being terrified more then I love ejaculating. I feel it is my responsibility as a horror aficionado to inform my loyal readers of the twenty-five best horror movies to ever grace the silver screen.

First however I'll tell you why I love horror movies so much. This is a blog, I need a chance to write something of substance for fucks sake.

When I was a wee-little lad dressing up as teenage mutant ninja turtles for Halloween I had no idea what horror even was. On this one magical holiday though I would find out very quickly why some people can't get enough of the blood and guts. I had a bunch of my retarded little buddies over and we were fucking around trick or treating and shit. I was warned as my wonderful mother went to sleep, to under no circumstances watch the movie Halloween. What the fuck do you think I did?

I shit my pants for the better part of a month. This was the most terrifying experience to this day I have ever had. The adrenaline and just raw terror that filled my mind and body was completely overwhelming. The reason I love horror movies so much is I want to feel that again, and if a movie doesn't exist that can do it...I will make it. On to the list. I'm not going to link pictures because I'm sure you fucks are intelligent enough to Google a mother fucker. Assume all are the originals unless specified.


25. Black Christmas
24. The Hills Have Eyes (remake)
23. [Rec]
22. Audition
21. Saw
20. Rosemary's Baby
19. Ringu
18. High Tension
17. 28 Days Later
16. The Thing
15. The Evil Dead
14. Suspiria
13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
12. Ju-On
11. The Exorcist
10. House of 1000 Corpses
9. The Descent
8. Friday the 13th
7. Psycho
6. Night of the Living Dead
5. Nightmare on Elm Street
4. Alien
3. The Shining
2. Jaws
1. Halloween

Take a shot of vodka, and get scared shit-less.

Boston Jon